Panic

It's Monday morning. I just got to my office from the fitness center. Jeremy and I scheduled our meetings for the next few weeks. As I was on the bench press machine, he came up to me and told me that tomorrow would be measurement day. (Excuse me, but was that my mind going blank or did the entire world come to a screeching halt in a state of despair?)

Measurement Day...my anxiety is red-lining in the stroke zone right now. The pessimist in me is telling me that nothing has changed OR it has gotten worse. I know my dedication has waned a bit in the past month, but I'm a cognitive psychologist, for cryin' out loud! Why aren't those same techniques I teach people to use working for me right now? My thoughts are racing toward what I truly feel is the inevitable...all of this for nothing. I am so afraid that the numbers will be no different. All of the cognitive reframing in the world may not get me past that.

I need an Ativan...or a Snickers.