Monday, November 22, 2004

Weeks 24 and 25

Okay, Okay...I know it's been awhile (thanks, Carole). BUT! At least this combo-week entry is not the same as the last one. In short...I HAVE DONE...hmmmmmm. On second thought, let's just say that I actually have been working at the fitness center the last two weeks. What I was going to announce proudly in all caps may have given my husband and everyone else the wrong impression!

I have increased my workouts with Jeremy to three per week, and this extra day has made an amazing difference. Not only do we work more, I learn more things to do on the days I'm on my own. For example, I confronted my fear of the eliptical trainer. Yes, fear. Fear of what? Fear of getting on that thing and having to get off 30 seconds later with my tongue wrapped around one of the foot pedals! I've seen people on those for 30-25 minutes, and I'm convinced they are all from Stepford! When Jeremy walked me over to the machine, I had visions of seeing my face on a svelte robot and had a brief urge to run out screaming. But I fought the urge and stepped on the thing, trying to act like it was no big deal, but feeling the foreboding foolishness that I knew would envelope me literally in seconds. I started going, and to my amazement it wasn't that bad. Then 10 seconds later I felt the burn in my thighs. (ok, maybe it wasn't 10...20 though). But I kept going. Then I realized I was running! Wow! It felt great! No pain in the old joints or jostling of the old boobs. Ten minutes later, he came to get me for the weight work, only after I spent another 8 minutes on the inclined treadmill.

It was time for leg work. I was feeling pretty good until he had me do wall chairs after my step-ups and squats. Do you remember wall chairs? You probably did them in junior high athletics. It's when you put your back against the wall and make your thighs parallel to the floor like you're sitting in a chair. Sound simple? Try it. Go ahead, I'll wait. (humming quitely) Did you do it? For how long? NOT LONG ENOUGH! Go back and do it for 60 seconds. (humming quietly again) Ok. Now what do you think? Now do you understand why I bit my lip so hard I looked like Botoxed Goldie Hawn in "First Wives' Club?" yeah...

Actually, I've had a good couple of weeks. Need to do better on eating. What? Who am I kidding? Me do better on eating? How is that possible? Personally, I think I do darn good at eating. I'm like a professional eater! Who out there thinks they can eat better than I? Why on earth do think I'm writing this blog in the first place, JUST FOR PLEASURE?! Oh...I need to eat better foods and make better choices. Never mind. (Sorry about the venture into Emily Litella land.)

Last week I worked with Jeremy only two days because he went downtown to hang around the opening of the Clinton Library. Let me take just a few moments to express my views about this library. I got to watch it as it was being constructed. I often would ask when it was going to be finished, particularly when the days on the side were counting down. Then I realized...it was finished! It looked like a big ol' double wide trailer sitting on the bank of the river. Just what we needed in Central Arkansas! Everytime there was bad weather, I was afraid a tornado would go right to downtown Little Rock, or better yet, a water spout right down the river. Talk about a tornado magnet! Then I heard it was a vision of his "bridge to the future." Looked more like a bridge to the Happy Acres Mobile Home Park! However, the more I see the building, the more it grows on me. It does have an appeal to it.

I really can't wait to visit the Presidential Library. So much history! It will be great! Of course, I probably will stay away from the Cigar Adult Reading Room. But I would like to see the Presidential Dry Cleaners situated next to the Presidential Apartment. I heard they specialize in cleaning dresses...hmmmmmmm.




Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Week 23 11/03/2004 (post election)

AP (Appetite Police) "Confusion abounds as the Reubenesque blog author leaves the fitness center. While exit polls predicted she would be "the next Michelin Man, Moby Hick, or Gilbert Grape's Mother," the actual voting indicates that this is not the case. Recent surges from increased workouts and a gradual change in diet (supported by her loving running mate for life) have resulted in increased motivation and decreased depression. The office vending machine hinted at challenging the results but quickly conceded after it was clear that determination had one the contest, even with considering the provisional snacking.

In a related contest, the long-standing leader of the carbohydrate contingent was defeated by the challenger, lean protein. This marked the first time in decades that a leader in the carb coalition was defeated.

Looks like the mandate has been issued. Health prevails."