Week 23 11/03/2004 (post election)

AP (Appetite Police) "Confusion abounds as the Reubenesque blog author leaves the fitness center. While exit polls predicted she would be "the next Michelin Man, Moby Hick, or Gilbert Grape's Mother," the actual voting indicates that this is not the case. Recent surges from increased workouts and a gradual change in diet (supported by her loving running mate for life) have resulted in increased motivation and decreased depression. The office vending machine hinted at challenging the results but quickly conceded after it was clear that determination had one the contest, even with considering the provisional snacking.

In a related contest, the long-standing leader of the carbohydrate contingent was defeated by the challenger, lean protein. This marked the first time in decades that a leader in the carb coalition was defeated.

Looks like the mandate has been issued. Health prevails."