Week 7D

While flipping through the tv channels the other day, I saw something that, at first, was quite disturbing to me. However, the more I thought about it, the more ok I became. I'm not even sure what channel it was on, but it was one of those celebrity spotlight kind of things. They were talking about Demi Moore and Ashton Kissy-face (I don't know his name...something like Kutcher?). Anyway, apparently there is quite an age difference here. The commentator was making a big deal about Demi being in her 40s and Ashton in his 20s. (And I thought the age difference between Dave and me was big!)

Here is the distressing part...Demi Moore. I mean, my goodness! Take a look at that woman! She looks great! They talked about the 40s being the "new 20s" or something like that, implying that women can age gracefully. (Finally, a hint of real equality!) Then they mentioned her "strict diet and exercise regimen." I'm sorry, but I could eat carrots and celery, run 10 miles, and do 1000 crunches every day of my life and still not look like Demi Moore! She looks better now than she did in the 80s! I looked at her and the other women they were flashing before my eyes while at the same time thinking of women like Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Sally Field, women who are beyond 40 and look like a million bucks! I had to fight the urge to eat a dozen peanut butter and blackberry preserve sandwhiches (which I haven't eaten since I started the diet).

Then it hit me. I am 38. The 40s are the new 20s. So, I'm still a teen and this is baby fat!!!

Life is good again.

Temptation

Temptation comes in a variety of packages. Mine happens to be wrapped in brightly colored foil and is available only once per year (Thank You, God!). What is my temptation? Cadbury Cream Eggs. In my last post, I talked about not wanting to weigh in because I had been a bad girl. Finding out that I actually lost weight rejuvenated me and put me back on the right track, for a few hours. What did I see that very night? Those Cadbury Cream Eggs.

God promised me that I would not be tempted unless there was a way to resist the temptation. "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it." (I Corinthians 10:13, HSCB). Standing there in the Easter candy aisle at Wal-Mart, the trial of my faith began. Laying in the bin were those brightly wrapped chocolatey morsels, so rich they make your eyes roll back in your head, just waiting to be consumed BY ME!!!

Then, that voice of reason whispered in my ear. You have an escape. You don't have to eat those eggs. You are on the right track. You can overcome.

God is faithful, but let's just say, I have to repent.

Week 6D

I really did not want to go yesterday. As a matter of fact, I called Susie on my way because I needed another shrink to shrink me. Even though my car was headed in the right direction, my mind wasn't. Susie told me to prepare for a 5 pound weight gain, then I wouldn't be disappointed. I did NOT want to hear that. I wanted to hear, "You're right. Drive right on past UAMS. It's not worth it." But NOOOOOO...that's not what she said. She went on about determination and compared me to training her cat to poop in the toilet! Now, I'm all about analogies, but come on! Comparing my quest for weight loss and fitness to flushing feline feces!!! Woman! So as we were talking, I found myself turning into that parking deck. It was like medicine. I might as well take it and get it over with. And, I am glad I did! I had lost another 1.5 pounds. That's 22 total in 6 weeks! I was very pleased.

Aaaahhh...a good dose of cognitive therapy a day keeps the insanity away. Thanks, Dr. Susie.

I Don't Wanna Weigh In

Not today. I'm like the cartoon cat based on Abbott and Costello..."I've been a bad, bad girl." I don't want to weigh in. I've eaten more than I should have and exercised less than I needed. This does not produce excitement on those platform scales at UAMS. Not to mention that I have to wait over an hour to hear the not-so-good news. Just give me my supplements and let me leave!

Ok...Now is the time for all good cognitions to come to the aid of my doubt. I am sabotaging again and I KNOW this. This is what is so frustrating. I have a plan that I know will work. What do I do? I mess with it. I don't stay in bounds. I tip-toe on the line, fall over, say "Well look at that!" and start to tip-toe again.

I have to remind myself, "IF I WORK IT, I WON'T FAIL!" I mean, I've lost 20 pounds already. I'm getting compliments daily. What more could I ask for? Nothing! So what am I missing? Me. I am missing the good things I need to be saying to myself. I see so much of what needs to be done that I don't congratulate myself for what I have done.

Oh, shrink, shrink thyself and thou wilt shrink!

Week 5D

Ok...I'm finally agreeing with people. I am an oppositional twit. Every time someone asked me, "Gym?" or "How's your workout?" I went into Oppositional Defiant mode. Somewhere in my brain, "accountability partners" turned into "annoying parents" and I exerted my independence in an unhealthy way and just didn't go as much as I could have gone. (Boy, I'm glad my mom doesn't have internet...The little, "Trust me, I KNOW" would be ringing in my ears!)

So, my weight loss is not as rapid as it could be. I'm down 20.5 pounds, and my labs are great. I've modified the diet protocol a bit...yes, there I go again...but I have a valid reason. I drink the supplements during the day, and I eat a meal at night. My meals consist of mostly those green leafy veggies (minus the hairy green beans or boiled grass), and I eat some sort of chicken, turkey, or fish. I decided that I am going to manage the diet rather than it manage me (see paragraph above). I want to make a lifestyle change while I am on the supplements rather than having the big change during the supplements followed by another big change when I am off of them. This will take a little longer, but I am happier with it in the long run.

When I did go to the fitness center, I was pleased. I was right back into my workout where I had left off prior to going to Jacksonville. My cardio was fine and my weights were same pounds/same reps. Also, I saw Jeremy. This was the best. His eyes popped open, a big smile came across his face, and he said, "Girl, how much weight have you lost?!" I knew then that it was more noticeable than I had thought. I'm still not where I want to be, but I am well on my way.

Oh, by the way, contrary to what Susie has said, I DO still have a butt. Several, actually, but that's a different story (you know who you are!). The one I carry with me still resides on the back of my lap. It's just not sliding down behind my knees anymore.

Week 4D

LOSER!!!

That's what I am...a not so big, not so fat loser! After my week of virtually being off my diet, I went back for my weekly weigh-in.

Let me digress...This weekly weigh-in can be a rather humiliating thing if I thought about it the way I usually think about things. It's not the people, although they are pixie-elf dieticians who are the size of my left leg; rather, it's the scale. I feel like a semi pulling off the side of the road with "Wide Load" strapped across my rear bumper. These scales are HUGE! A walrus could be weighed on these things. They have a platform that is at least 2 feet x 2 feet, and they have HANDLEBARS! Yes, handlebars on the scales! I guess that's to keep you from falling over when they tell you what those digital numbers DOWN TO THE TENTH read. I know they are not to be used to run over the pixie-elf dietician...I tried that and the scales didn't budge.

Ok. No more rabbit-chasing. (Is that a lean meat? Never mind...I'm feeling a little to much like Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction.")

ANYWAY...I am a loser! Since I started the UAMS diet thing, I've lost 18.6 pounds, 40 points off of my cholesterol and about 65 points off of my triglycerides. I was pretty happy with those results. And, if I stop being a slug and start working out again (yes, I've slacked way off that), the results would be even better. I plan on starting this Monday...someone ask me about it so I will be accountable. Bro. Wesley's "Gym?" would suffice.

I've found out several things since I've been on this diet. First, I like asparagus. Never would have known that! Not until I was walking the grocery store aisle in search of "free food" would I have ever stopped at a can of asparagus and thought, "Hey, I'd like to try that." Second, I can get full with a plate full of green stuff that is not spinach pasta. Third, Allen's produces canned Kentucky Wonder green beans, which I think are much better than Blue Lake and they are not fuzzy. You know what I'm talking about? Some green beans are fuzzy. I hated these when I was a kid, and I still hate them as an adult. When I was a kid, Mom would put them on my plate, I'd take one bite, feel that fuzz and refuse to eat "hairy food." Fourth, dill pickles really do count as free food AND as a veggie. BONUS!!! The only pickles I eat are dill or sour. I don't do sweet tasting pickles. In my book, pickles are supposed to be dill or sour; lollipops are sweet.

And, finally, anything is tolerable with enough Tobasco!