Week 18

Ok...small changes in all areas. Not as much as I would want to see but it's ok. I'm still motivated to go.

My time with Jeremy is back up to two days a week, and I'm SORE! We are doing more exercises, etc. As I was dragging myself to my Jeep with thighs aching, I realized that I really work out every morning. I lift and stretch and down and up...and that's just getting out of bed and going to the toilet! I don't have to worry about osteoperosis because I do weight bearing exercises every day, hauling this body of mine around! Trust me, that is quite an accomplishment.

Panic

It's Monday morning. I just got to my office from the fitness center. Jeremy and I scheduled our meetings for the next few weeks. As I was on the bench press machine, he came up to me and told me that tomorrow would be measurement day. (Excuse me, but was that my mind going blank or did the entire world come to a screeching halt in a state of despair?)

Measurement Day...my anxiety is red-lining in the stroke zone right now. The pessimist in me is telling me that nothing has changed OR it has gotten worse. I know my dedication has waned a bit in the past month, but I'm a cognitive psychologist, for cryin' out loud! Why aren't those same techniques I teach people to use working for me right now? My thoughts are racing toward what I truly feel is the inevitable...all of this for nothing. I am so afraid that the numbers will be no different. All of the cognitive reframing in the world may not get me past that.

I need an Ativan...or a Snickers.

Week 17

I reached a milestone in my workout this week. My sessions with Jeremy is when I do free weights, mainly so he can watch my form and correct any errors I am making. (Call me a whimp, but I don't like to feel sore!) I was doing leg presses, and he kept adding weight. Toward the end of my third set of 20, I asked him how much I was pressing. 200 pounds! I was so proud of myself. However, that explained why I thought I was going to have a spontaneous vaginal hysterectomy right there in the middle of the gym! Man! That got tough!

(I hear Cindy saying, "Do you have to tell everything you think?!" And, I will answer the way I always do...If you only knew what I don't say, you would be proud of me! Besides, sometimes you just can't pass on a great analogy.)

So...since I already mentioned the hysterectomy thing, I might as well ask this question. Do you know what is worse than working out with menstrual cramps? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Answer: NOT working out when you have menstrual cramps! I had the mother of all cramps on Tuesday morning and seriously thought about not going. Then I started feeling like a whimp. I told myself I was just looking for an excuse, and I had come this far as was not about to give up now. So, I went and I worked. I even did my abdominal work because it was my abs-focus day. AND, I FELT BETTER!

It feels great to treat my body nice and not listen to its whining.

Week 16

I've been looking. Remember all the super seniors that were plaguing my workouts earlier? They haven't been around. Not the guy with the twiggy legs who wore black nylon socks with his white tennis shoes. Not the little lady who ran uphill in her flat canvas shoes and lime green pantsuit. None of them. Oh, new seniors have taken their place, but the others haven't been there.

Hmmm.....(darting eyes from left to right)...

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! (singing and dancing all the way to the jeep)

Week 15

IM BAAA-AACK! I received some bad news from Jeremy...he wants to do a measurement session again. NOT NOW! I've been a bad, bad girl. I'm trying to convince him to wait a month. If he had done this last month, I would have been pleased. Now, I will be discouraged.

I did feel an odd sensation today. As I was walking back to my Jeep, I noticed a sticky feeling on my lower abdomen. I was trying to figure out what it was and where it came from when it hit me...It was sweat! Now, you pixie elf-type people would never understand this, so let me explain. When you are abdominally endowed, you get this little hangover effect. It may be very slight in some people, but it is there. It's quite handy, actually, like for hiding your C-section scar (see earlier post). But a marvelous and amazing thing is happening...the hangover is lifting! That was the sticky. My tummy was pulling away from itself!!! (I know you pudgy people are laughing at this point while you pixie people have a look of "Huh?" on your faces. Face it, you ain't gonna get this.) Now, I ain't ready to scrub clothes on washboard abs, but I PRAISE THE STICKY!