Last Day of 2004

2004...what a year! This is the year I made an investment in me. Six months ago, I started working out at the Baptist Fitness Center. My motivation has waxed and waned. I've not YET seen the results that I want, but I know I am on my way. Tomorrow starts a new year, and Monday starts a new week of working out. However, I think two days ago presented the second best source of motivation for me to keep working (my son providing the first).

December 29, 2004, the world welcomed Michael Harding Bryant, the third son born to my friend and oft-mentioned colleague, Susie. The night of the 28th, Susie was admitted to Baptist Medical Center, and we really thought Michael would show up then. I went to her room after my workout and was determined to stay until he was born.

Susie is the one with the dancer's body, tall and lean. There she was, lying in bed with that little basketball under her gown. She looked great! Her contractions had slowed some, so her nurse said it would be okay for her to walk around on the 2nd floor. She put on her robe, and off we went! We made so many trips up and down the hallways, stopping for a moment for her to have another contraction. This is when I received my motivation. I wondered if people thought there were TWO pregnant women walking the halls! In my mind, I imagined nurses running up trying to put a baby monitor on my belly. I shared my fear with Susie. Did she understand my pain? Noooo! She laughed so hard I thought she was going to give birth right there in the hall. Some friend you are! You were able to get rid of your belly with a few strong pushes. Me? I'm still waddling!

Enough of that. Now, a brief review of what I am thankful for in 2004.

• Thank You, Father, for blessing me simply because You love me.
• I experience deeper love everyday, thanks to David and Jadyn.
• Mom, you show me a passion for living everyday to its fullest.
• Through the eyes of Arlene, I have a greater appreciation for life itself and the simple pleasures it brings.
• I have the best group of friends imaginable.
• Thank you to my family for being supportive
• Thank you to Dr. Robert Rice for seeing our professions as a ministry
• Thank you to my church for being such a stabilizing force in my life

Life is good.

Buzz Lightyear Diet Plan

Children make Christmas great! Dave and I had so much fun buying and wrapping and putting together Jadyn's presents. I think Dave had more fun with his electric train (excuse me...train with no eyes and no mouth) than Jadyn did. I love Christmas now that I have a child. But, there's one thing I hate about Christmas presents...anti-theft devices.

Jadyn was given a Search and Rescue Buzz Lightyear for Christmas by his cousins. (Thank you Andrew and Ashelynn!) He was so excited and wanted to play with it right away. I cut the tape with scissors and opened up the box. That's when I saw it. What every parent hates to see. You guessed it...those dad-blasted plastic twist ties!!! This toy was protected by 10 of those buggers! 10!!!!!!! You would have thought it was made of solid gold or was carrying nuclear waste it was protected so much. As I began untwisting the twist-ties and pulling those little plastic tabs off, a feeling of wanting to throw Buzz out the nearest window kept welling inside of me.

That's when my brilliant idea came to me. We need to package food this way! Just imagine a box of Christmas candy, each piece with two of those plastic twist ties attaching it to the box. It would take a lot of work to eat a little caramel turtle, I tell ya. So much work that you wouldn't grab 4 or so to eat at a time. Either that box of candy would last until Easter or you would see boxes of half-eaten candy being flung out windows all over the country!

Now, we wouldn't have to put these twister protectors on all foods. I don't think they are necessary on foods such as cottage cheese or spinach or brussell sprouts. But anything found at the check-out at a grocery store...twist it! The obesity in our country would decrease dramatically.

I can see one very negative side effect of this plan, though. Millions of homicidal poundage-endowed people in need of a candy fix going Hershey at the snack counters, vending machines, and grocery store check-outs because of these darned twist-ties. It would not be pretty. Somebody would get hurt and a lot of us would go to jail. Law enforcement officers would have to Mirandize us differently..."You have the right to remain obese. If you give up that right, any calories you consume will be added to your body anyway. You have the right to diet and exercise on your own. If you do not have the willpower to diet and exercise and refrain from going mad trying to consume the protected confections, a nutrition plan will be given to you in the form of 3 hots and a cot, and you will be able to exercise in the common yard." Imagine all of us chubsters walking around in orange jumpsuits. We'd look like a convention of Fruit of the Loom rejects. Oh, the agony.

I'm going to give myself and easy-open Kiss.

Holiday Post

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the gym
I have no idea what was going on because I haven't been
My workout clothes and new cross trainers are tucked in my bag
For me to put on my body and my butt to the gym drag

The skinny folks were running in their jogging apparel
Taking advantage of the latest mild winter weather
The chubby folks were watching them with guilt-ridden disbelief
'til in a box of Christmas fudge they found sweet relief

Walking in Wal-Mart I see the new singing Santa
Then immediately look around for a snack and Grape Fanta
I'd like to walk up and smack that old elf
For having a belly much smaller than the one on myself!

This new thinner version of Santa I see
Must be an attempt to be correct politically
That's why I don't bother with matters such as these
And am perfectly content(?) with being jolly and obese

But my mind floats back to the center and my trainer
I think I should offer to Jeremy a disclaimer
"He wrote down my workouts. What else could he do?
My sessions with him I did not renew!"

As I write in this blog, I feel a bit of determination
But lately that's been an absent sensation
Unless it comes to eatng and dining
And that I can do with very little whining

To the center I'll go, just you wait and see
And make everyone there surprised to see me
I'll walk in there with a look on my face
Of absolute focus, and I'll find my place

On treadmill! On bicycle! On elliptical trainer!
On nautilus machines! On free weights! On inlcine retainer!
To the max I will push! Beyond my limit I'll pass!
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll bust my big...hiney!

I'll work 'til the sweat pours off of my brow
I won't put it off, I'll do it somehow
You'll hear me exclaim as I crawl out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all. This exercise 'shtuff' really bites!"

Week 27

I like proverbs. From "Poor Richard's Almanac" to the "Bible," proverbs are short, easily remembered nuggets of truth that can help me recall some wisdom at times in my life that I desperately am in need of it. However, I found that all the ones written by others just wasn't cutting it for me. I'd forget or, worse yet, remember it wrong...like the old saying "starve a cold and feed a fever," "or starve a fever and feed a cold." I can't ever get that straight, so I always assume that my ailment of the moment is what I'm supposed to FEED. Maybe that's why I'm writing this blog! So, to avoid forgetting or "misremembering" I created my own life motto:

Life is too short to wear uncomfortable underwear!

Now, that works for me. I can remember that. It really hits home, or, um, yeah...hits a memorable place. You know when you're wearing uncomfortable underwear. It either rides or bunches or is too big it sags in the back making you feel like you just...never mind. You get the picture (as unlovely it is). When you're wearing uncomfortable underwear, it is hard to keep your mind on anything else. The discomfort consumes you until you can rid yourself of the pesky personals. It's just not worth it.

The reason this motto works for me is I have a cognitive framework by which to sort experiences, people, places, decisions, etc. If it fits and feels comfy, I wear it. If not, I place it in the back of a drawer to reexamine at a later date. Sometimes I have to endure it for a moment, but why keep putting it back on and being miserable? Life is just too short.

Six months ago, I decided to start shedding some uncomfortable underwear. (Oh, the visual image ...Ugh!). My thoughts and feelings about myself were so negative and my self-worth was taking so many blows, I knew it was time for a change. That's when I committed myself to working out. This fits. I'm not where I want to be, but I took the first step and kept walking that path. Life is good. I know I have other steps to take, and I will take them. It's just right now, the undies feel good.

(I tried out one other saying, but I abandoned it because of my pixie-elf friends..."Never trust a woman whose thighs don't meet." Made perfect sense to me, but I think I was just in an envious, coveting sort of mood.)

However, today I read a statement that I think will serve as life motto #2. I don't know the original source, so I can't give the proper credit. I would love to shake their hand. Shoot, who am I kidding? I would love to throw my arms around their neck and shower them with gratitude, exclaiming, "I'm not worthy!" Here is my new motto, with some tweaking to fit me, personally:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body; rather, it is to skid in sideways, with a pizza and Snickers Bar in one hand, Diet Coke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'WOO-HOO WHAT A RIDE!'"

Now, THAT'S my idea of living!

Week 27 - Tuesday

Today was my last session with Jeremy for a while. I decided not to spend the money on myself during the holiday season. (No Grinch for me!) Besides, I wanted to see how I did on my own. I think I'm ready. He is going to type up some of the circuits we have been doing so I can use them. How long have I been doing this? It was right before Memorial Day, so I guess that's 6 months. It was well worth it. I plan on renewing when I need the extra ***umph***!

So, what does this mean? It means I don't have a paid session with him to get me to the fitness center. It's up to me now. How much do I want it? We'll see...

This is when I need my friends to hold me accountable, and to encourage me. Wes..."Gym?" I did make it 20 minutes on the eliptical trainer. (Yeah!) I thrust my fists in the air and would have done the "Rocky dance" if my feet hadn't been numb.

Thanks, Jeremy. I've learned so much!

Week 26

For the first time since I've been going to the Baptist Fitness Center, I felt under-dressed. One of the reasons I love going there is it's not full of "pretty people." You know the kind. They are the ones who don't need to be working out but just love wearing the $80 chic workout gear. No, the people at BFC are regular everyday people wearing their worn t-shirts and shorts/sweat pants who are in there sweating and jiggling and moaning. I feel right at home!

Not this week. Monday, the first day back after Thanksgiving, the place was crowded. I added to the extra crowd because I had two cancellations, so I stayed two hours. Plus, part of me wanted to say, "If you really want to work off those holiday pounds you should have started this summer when I did!" But, I refrained. I was looking around the room when there she was, a super senior on a rowing machine wearing a black pant-suit and pearls! Yep, you read it right, PEARLS. I don't even wear my wedding band when I work out, much less pearls! I smiled, not to myself but right out there on the front of my face so everyone could see and wonder what I was up to, smiled because this woman reminded me so much of my own mother! My mom, who changes clothes and puts on make-up to go to Wal-Mart, would dress up to work out, maybe not that much but she wouldn't be caught dead wearing what I wear. Come to think of it, she wouldn't be caught dead being with me wearing what I wear either. Anyway, I smiled and said a prayer thanking God for that woman's health and success in working out, for a healthy self-esteem that allows me to go out in public the way I do, and for my Mom, who wonders just where she went wrong.

I've had a good work-out week. After tomorrow, I will have had my first 5-day workout week. I will be in Little Rock on Friday and actually was scheduling a time to work-out before I realized I was doing it. Now that's the habit I've been waiting for! I feel so much better about myself when I work out, especially when I make it through one of the killer circuits Jeremy has me do. And that elliptical trainer! OH MY STARS! That machine will kick my tail! Problem is it will kick my tail through my thighs! For the first 5 months of going to the Center, I watched with envy people on that machine, thinking I could never do what they do. Now, I see "newbies" watching me that way, and I feel like I've accomplished something. I lift weights and women ask me how long it took to build up to where I am. I feel more confidence.

So, what is my beef? I DON'T LOOK ANY SMALLER! It's like my eyebrows when I was a kid. I'm a true red-head (figure it out), and I have blonde eye lashes and eyebrows. Kids would say, "You don't have any eyebrows," to which I would respond, "I do, too, feel!" Now, I want to tell people, "I do too work out...FEEL!" But then I feel like such the narcissist. Oh, well, if the personality fits...

(looks around, flexes...Feel that!)