Week 14D

I had to keep a promise. It was more like a compromise (or coercion, perhaps). Whatever it was, I had to fulfill my end of a bargain. One of my pixie-elf friends is Arlene. She's the one who opened a big ol' can of whoop-tookus on cancer. When her hair started growing back, I wanted to spike it. (It was just there...you know, just THERE). She said, "All right, Red, but under one condition...you let me straighten yours." I said, "That will be fine, because I can bring my shampoo, my gel, and my hair dryer and have my hair back to NORMAL in three minutes!" So, the deal was on.

Trying to spike her hair was an interesting endeavor. Everytime I would have it spiked or scattered, then she would stick her fingers up there and start smoothing it back down! She would say, "Julie, you're making it go ever-which-way!" (First of all, I didn't know that was a word...) Second of all, I would respond, "I know! It's SUPPOSED to do that!" Needless to say, she still fights her natural wave (she calls them cowlicks) and smooths it down as smooth as she can. However, she does have this really cool Halle Berry thing going on if she would just mess it up a bit!

After "Dip Night" and "Phantom of the Opera" I let her try and straighten my hair. She would take that hot flat ceramic torture device, come toward my head, and snap it shut. All I could see was all of those documentaries on great white shark feeding frenzies. She worked for a bit, complaining that I had "too much hair" so Nina gave it a shot. She straightened a bit, then Cindy came on board. Of course, Cindy had to bring in the mother-tone, "You'd better stop jumping every time we come at you with this or you will get burned, now be still!" Respecting my elders as I do, I complied.
After the three of them worked on my hair for what seemed 15 to 20 minutes they were finished. It looked stupid. Arlene kept saying, "It's so silky..." but it was boring. Just this little red poof on top of my head. It looked like I was wearing a batting helmet! Thank God for my friendly hair with lots of waves!

Yesterday, I had my hair cut again. I finally did it. I took the last step in my hair destination. I got the chicken-butt hair cut! That's what they called it, honestly! It's wedged up the back and looks like the north end of a south bound hen! Now this is what I call fun hair!!! Maybe that could be my YaYa name..."Princess Banty Butt" or "Goddess of Poultry 'Dairy-Hair'." They could refer to me as "Your Cornish Hiney!" On second thought...no, I don't like the way this is going.

I went to UAMS this week but did not know they changed their hours. I bought my supplements but could not weigh in, so I have no update. I probably gained, though. I'm really lovin me some popsicles right now!